Pain

Sad things non stop attack me..
What you expect me to be?
Really speechless and disappointed..
What you say b4 was just a fool?
Why I so stupid and believe that?
Oh no.. I realize I really stupid..
I found the time go slow and meaningless...
And I have many things not yet do,
but what I doing now was just sit there and cry...
Really feel so sad and sick of it..
Can you imagine, all the trust have gone,
And I pay for it with my sincere and money and everything..
Really sad and nothing I can say..
I not even know the whole story..
I can't tell what happen..
Can i?
Actually what happen??
Just suddenly a group of fren say hate me..
And another group of fren say away from me..
What the heck... Can let me know the reason 1st...
Why make me like sohai and still trust u guys as best fren?
U know how pain is my heart now..
And how shock I know that from my fren!
OMG.. I intro my fren to u guys is let you all talk bad behind me?

I pain for few day and I still need to act strong to pretend ntg..
Busy of my exam, go out for movie and talk wit everyone like normal.
Can anyone tell me all I know is not true..
Just a joke and a fool..
What you expect me to do???
I really dunno...
Attitude, behaviour...
Bcuz of tis, I cannot have fren..
What is the meaning I continue my life..
I really so disappointed and wanna end it NOW..
But HOW??

The pain can let me feel wanna end my life, imagine how pain was it..
But I try.. I just can't do so... Bcuz I hv to responsible to everyone who care and love me.
WHY??? I din hurt anyone but everyone try to hurt me..
Can I kill all of u or kill myself, so that I no need face it?
Time is the medicine, but the time was just too slow ...
I dunno how long I can tahan the pain...
I scare I really will jump frm the Balcony and end my life..
I just try my best to control myself..

You all wanna laugh just laugh..
You all wanna tease just tease..
I know I deserve it..
Who ask me use my true heart to be ur friend.

Tata

I worry..
I'm unhappy..
And I dun care about it..
Used to it and realize I have try my best..
Everything just dun want care anymore..

Friendship, love,
brothers, sisters,
I lost everything.
But at least I know why I lost it.

Good bye everything,
If can, I will choose to leave,
If can, I will choose to end.
But I can't, bcuz my life is given by my parents.
Unless my parents told me, If u really unhappy,
Just end ur life..
And this time is the 1st time I feel so wanna end it.
Bcuz the hurt is unexpected painful.

If really treat you as fren, won't treat you like tat.
Dun be stupid still think that they are nice and good.
Dun be so innocent and naive.
All is just bullshit and wasted.
This so called friendship but actually I'm just a tools.
Finish using, just say tata and throw u away.
The lost of money is means nothing but the most painful is I lost trust on ppl.
No more trust anyone and sincere to anyone.

"If you sincere to them, they will feel it... " This all just bullshit... Bcuz of too honest and sincere, what I get back was just hurt and talk bad behind me...

I hate you all bcuz fooling my feeling and trust.
I'm just a girl, what you expected me to be? Become so fake like you guys!

Raining day

Today I walk under the rain,
Dun misunderstand me wanna be cool,
I'm not that free to do such things,
I'm just din bring umbrella and the rain come suddenly.
I wish I can go home early, so I din wait for the rain stop.
I'm wet and cold at that time, I really feel lonely.
No more people will sms me ask me how am I.
No more caring and sweet talk to make me warm in the cold weather.
I just miss you badly.

I remember last year, someone fetch me to Sunway Pyramid in this raining weather.
I really appreciate a lot,
I'm just so lucky but I let go my lucky.
No more doing this type of stupid things again.
I must appreciate everything given.
Thx a lot, you will always be my best memories.

What to do, I hurt so many people before,
Is time to let others hurt me again.
1 months, Still the same things happen.
Thinking after one month maybe will be better.
But now what can I see is impossible.
Pray to god, you all fine and happy.
I love you, but I know what I want you can't give me.

A friend say, he like raining because no one can see his tear in the rain.
Dun give up, my dear. You will be fine soon.
Just like me.. I'm getting better and better.
One day, I will be happy and sweet.

Actually I alrd write all this in chinese, rewrite again. Only realize, the feeling is different alrd... I really can't just straight away translate it. No meaning if I choose not to rewrite.

Happy Halloween

Less and less missing him,
I know I will end it very fast,
Laugh at myself missing him for no reason.
Well, I really like him but I think I will give up him,
Because I feel that he really not good at all.
Maybe few years later we have fate to meet again,
Everythings just let god decide.

Halloween, But I dun hv any party.
I have dinner in Melaka,
I miss out all the party invite by friends.
Pretty sad, but this worth..
I'm just 19... But my uncle alrd 70..
He left not much time to celebrate his birthday.
I still got many years for Halloween Party.

Today I gonna cut my hair.
Thinking what will it be after cutting,
I hv no idea on my new hairstyle,
Because I decide leave it to my hairstylist.
I hope this hairstylist will give me a pretty look.

Watching Little Nyonnya recently,
Really nice drama,
I'm thinking actually I consider half Nyonnya generation.
Because my grandma was Nyonnya just she adopt by Chinese Family,
So we din practise any Nyonnya Culture.
But she used to wear Sarong and making nice Sambal when she still alive.
That why I'm look like a Malay girl and many people tot I'm mix.

No title

Everything is over.
Look for the better future.
I love my life recently.
I realize sometimes cannot force us to do something we dun like.

My life is great.
Yam cha, clubbing, shopping non stop.
No financial problem.

Quattro, Velvet, Zouk, Poppy, Maison,
All I wan to go last year,
Now all I go b4 alrd.
What I need summore?
I know If he choose me, I will be happy.

I no more sad for him,
I single and available.
I won't take others boy friends.

Look for more healthy life and happy life.

Dream

Thinking of doing somethings meaningful...
I realize I have a lot of dreams, bcuz I love dreaming.
After that day, I totally dun wan care it anymore.
But I know I care bcuz I keep mention that I dun care.
If you dun care, you won't mention it.
That's why I say "I dun care".
One day I will leave here, go to a place to start everything over again.
I feel tired lo.
Why?

The places I want to travel,
Taiwan,
Japan,
Langkawi,
Pulau Redang,
Bangkok,
Singapore,
Canada,
Vietnam,
UK,
Korea,
USA,
Australia,
England.

Oh no, I got so many places wanna go!
I wish I can go with my dear.
But Is it single will be more easier?

I have a dream.

Just like you without a reason

'Dream is something incredible?'
I dream of him, means something?
I dunno.... Inside my heart, that is something..
Miracle? Question?

Is time to wake up from my dream.
I ignore it totally, at least I try to do so.
We still young.
What I need is freedom too.
No emo,
No feeling,
All about freedom.

When that is the time to stop,
We must stop.
Be happy and nobody know what you think inside ur heart.

The road you choose, you have to finish it.
This is your road, no regret.
My world left me alone to wait for another partner.

If love someone need a reason, the reason will be,
'I love you because of your taste!'
When the feeling is there, everything will be reason.